something delicious, P.E.

state of the onion

Other than American Idol and celebreality programs on VH1, I don't think anything is a bigger waste of precious airwaves than the yearly fluff the president of the United States calls the State of the Union Address.  CBC is having a commercial right now, so I flipped to the speech so I can form coherent sentences around the water cooler at work tomorrow morning.   Nancy Pelosi is losing the "don't blink" contest she is having with Dick Cheney...big time!  Seriously, somebody find this woman some Visine.  We're averaging a 12:1 Pelosi to Cheney blink ratio so far.

Here's my recap so far:   blah blah blah...Healthcare!  (applause)     shitty grin  blah blah blah.....War!   (applause)   blah blah blah....pan to gratuitous shot of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama  (applause)   blah blah blah....Medical Liability Reform!  (applause AND standing ovation)  blah blah blah  Immigration!   (applause)      veh-hi-cles....bio-die-sel fu-el!  (applause)  shitty grin  TERRORISM!  (applause)   wtf?  Baby Einstein?

Well, my ears are officially bleeding from all this damn clapping, and from listening to dubya trying to read the teleprompter like a well-respected world leader.  Blah politics.  I sincerely hope that a real leader will step forward in the 2008 election, someone who will restore my faith in the government.  I want to respect the president.  I want to be able to believe what they tell me.  Unfortunately, realism tells me that prince(ss?) charming is not coming to save us.  I'm going to flip back to CBC now and pretend everything is ok.

election day

Don't forget to vote today!  I just did and I have a sticker to prove it.

hopefully this doesn't throw a wrench in my travel plans

Boston Logan International Airport Travelers Advisory

August 10, 2006

In response to events in the United Kingdom, the Massachusetts Port Authority (Massport) advises travelers of the following Transportation Security Administration (TSA) changes to airport screening procedures at Boston Logan International Airport for commercial U.S. carriers and on all flights into the U.S:

NO LIQUIDS OR GELS OF ANY KIND WILL BE PERMITTED IN CARRY ON BAGGAGE. ITEMS MUST BE IN CHECKED BAGGAGE. This includes all beverages, shampoo, sun tan lotion, creams, tooth paste, hair gel, and other items of similar consistency. Exception: Baby formula and medicines must be presented for inspection at the checkpoint.

Tomorrow we're flying out of Boston, which is already inconvenient and sucky.  Now it looks like we will be adding an extra hour going through security for double-suck.  I have already packed for the trip, so I will cheerfully move my toiletries from the carry-on bag to the more spacious checked bag.  Hopefully I don't get a severe case of hand chap mid-flight...or feel the need to apply suntan lotion.  The moving of toiletries is no big deal.  I seriously don't give a shit which bag they go in.  What I DO care about, are all the other assholes who either live in a box, or simply disregard travel advisories, and wait until they get up to the security checkpoint to remove the illegal items from their carry-on baggage...wasting my, and thousands of other folks', valuable time (right now I'm estimating my non-productive time is worth at least $25/hour).

So, much like I yelled at the t.v. once or twice during World Cup and no one on the field paid attention, here is my own personal encouragement to the air-travelling public: "People- put your shit where it belongs and DON'T ARGUE.  Just do what all the other rats in the maze are doing and we'll all get along just fine".

On a brighter note:  I'M GOING ON VACATION FOR A WHOLE WEEK!!

And now for an exploding banana: