something delicious, P.E.

Cocktoberfest

(I'm feeling restless and needed a break from numbers and crunching them.  Enjoy this resulting nugget.)

There is a guy-stuff catalog that has taken residence in the magazine holder mounted on the wall next to my toilet at home.  This morning I noticed that the entire back cover is devoted to "Mocktoberfest", which is simply a celebration of the mock turtleneck being on sale for only $19.50!  After getting over my disgust at thought that the mock turtleneck is still out there being worn, I began to fantasize about how such a celebration might play out, if it were a real event.  I imagined there would be plenty of church organ players in attendance, among other kinds of grandmas.  And they would serve mock turtle soup, whatever that is.  Mock turtlenecks would be for and on sale, but would be imprinted with this year's mascot, the mockingbird. 

I started to consider the word Rocktoberfest, and decided to see how many clever folks participated in that linguistic mash-up.  Many, as it turns out.  A quick google search reveals that this word has been used for rock climbing festivals, numerous music festivals and japanese rock concerts, a motorcycle rally featuring the musical stylings of Molly Hatchet and "Leather and Lace - the ultimate adult fall party", and a fishing tournament, to name just a few.  Lesson learned:  if you're holding an event in October, and it's awesome, it has to be called Rocktoberfest.

Other famous variations:

Cocktoberfest- could be used for an annual autumn rooster fighting tournament, or to describe happenings at fraternities or gay bars during the month of october.

Docktoberfest- when northern climate owners of lakefront property remove their docks in the fall, or getting together to cut off dog tails (I'm talking to you - owners of dobermans, rottweilers, and sometimes cocker spaniels)/

Clocktoberfest- learning self defense or, of course, lessons in clock construction.

Socktoberfest - needs to explaination

I really need to get out of here.  Is it time for happy hour yet?

Negotiated Successfully

During the month of December, I tried out my own writer's strike.  I wasn't getting paid for any of the mind-blowing drivel I was posting on this website at irregular intervals, so I went on strike.  Funny thing is, two of the key ingredients to a successful strike were missing: 1) People know you are striking and 2) you matter.  So that was a failed experiment and I'm officially done holding my breath.

I've been following the issues surrounding the real striking writers for the last several weeks and although I still do not condone striking (it makes you look like a baby. see paragraph above), I do see that there are certain injustices occurring.  In my mind, a war of editorial caricatures is waging.  On one side of my brain, let's call it the left side because of its affinity for numbers and logic, you have what can only be described as an overstuffed, corn-fed state fair hog wearing a three-piece suit, top hat, and monocle sitting in an office eating greedily out of a trough labeled "internet".  This hog's name is "Corporate Executive".  And in the other corner, or the creative right half of the brain, there is a smaller hog, cuter and resembling that charlotte's web piglet, wearing fingerless gloves (the cool kind, not the hobo need a meal kind) and maybe some hip glasses.  This pig is adequately fed from an older trough labeled "tv and movies" that he shares with the big hog, but anytime it goes for the food in the internet trough, the chubby monopoly man hog bucks it away with his wing-tipped cloven hoof.  I don't know why pigs come to mind, or why both sides are male, but that's just how it is.  Why do I like pork tacos so much?  I just do.

Next topic:  The New Year

I looked over my resolutions from last January to track my progress.  I still don't floss my teeth every day, and I never got into walking the dogs before work.  I held up the no writing blogs during work part of the deal, but broke the no reading part within the first week.  I can't say for sure if I was nicer to strangers, but I'm pretty sure that was also a no as I have no new friends. 

If last year's resolutions were not kept, do they have to roll over into the new year, or do I get to pick new ones?  I vote to pick new ones because last year's must have been unreasonable and therefore impossible to keep.  So here is the list for 2008:

Eat vegetables with every meal
Ski at least once a week

And there is a list of about twelve others, but those are the only two I will realistically keep.

Happy New Year!

Stuff

Quick life update here between appointments:

• Ran leg 5 of the VT City Marathon relay (5.6 miles) in 54 minutes and some seconds.  A new PR for that distance.  Our team did great too, coming in 333 out of 780 teams (or something like that).
• Started the Tuesday night trail running series at the local mtn bike place.  ouch.  hopefully tomorrow will be easier.
• Passed my professional engineer's exam, so now I get to have a couple of initials after my name in the professional world.
• Am leaving for Hawaii in exactly 2 days.   2 DAYS!!!

what is my deal?

Today has not been my favorite day of the year.  I woke up cranky.  I yelled at Joe for puting the dog bones on the counter that is usually designated for food preparation.  I don't feel like doing anything.  My throat is scratchy and my nose is dripping.  I'm mad at Netflix because even though I mailed both movies in on Monday, I'm not going to get my next two movies in until tomorrow (Saturday).  That is bullshit.  To top it all off, I just found out my 10 year high school class reunion, something I've actually been looking forward to for the past, oh, 10 years, is on the same night as my brother's wedding and I'll be in Hawaii.

SO WHAT IS MY DEAL??  These are all bullshit reasons to be sad and angry.  Joe ALWAYS puts the dog bones on the counter to put peanut butter on them in the mornings for their kennel treats.  Hell, I put the bones on the counter too.  Netflix is always slow, I should know that by now.  And the reunion thing?  I'm going to be in fucking Hawaii!  What the hell do I have to complain about?  And yet, I'm complaining.  I'm sad.  I'm angry.  I'm feeling sorry for myself.  And honestly, all I want to do is lay on the couch and eat cheetos off of my belly all weekend.

argh...maybe I'll try going for a run.

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*Post-run update:

I'm better.  Five and a half miles on the "hilly route" later, I'm over myself.  While still a little bummed about having to miss the reunion, I no longer think that my classmates found out about my vacation and purposely planned the event for when I wouldn't be able to make it.  So no couch, no bellies, and no cheetos.

the lock thing

So this lock on the locker at the gym thing is turning out to be more of a hassle than I'd initially thought. Not only do I have to waste time putting the lock on and taking the lock off of the locker before and after each workout, I ALSO have to repeat the procedure before and after showering.  Robbers don't care whether you're just on the other side of the wall taking a shower or involved in a class.  They'll strike whenever is convenient for them. 

Everyone I encounter in the locker room looks suspicious to me.  The squatting naked lotion slatherers, the hippie 70s-bush-unshaven-armpits chicks, and even the old saggy gossip ladies' eyes seem shiftier now.  Lady who brings her seven-year-old son in the locker room even though he stares at boobs?  You look guilty too, and so does your "angel" son.   Honestly, if he's old enough to spell vagina, he really needs to go with daddy into the men's locker room.

I'm sure the paranoia will wear off in a couple of weeks and I'll reduce the locker lockings to only during workouts, and a few weeks after that I'll stop locking my locker altogether.  Until I get something else stolen.

rezzzzolutions

Warning:  Boring

A short eight days into the new year and it's time for the obligatory Happy New Year/ How I Intend to Improve Myself for Three Weeks Before I Fall Off the Wagon post.  Well then, welcome to 2007.   

Joe and I celebrated the passing of 2006 on the couch, with the dogs.  We had been invited to a swinging casino night at an acquaintance's bachelor pad, but an unexpected late departure from Florida followed by 28 sleepless hours of driving/Olive panting in my ear resulted in the migraine from hell.  So long story short, at the stroke of midnight I was wearing my pink w/ red moose pj pants and playing an exciting german-style strategy board game with Joe and two of our friends who were not afraid to be lame and old like us.  Next New Year's will be fabulous, I promise myself.

Wheel of Fortune RSTLNE resolutions are:
eat healthy, excercise on weekends too, floss daily - I resolve to do these things every year with limited success.

New, specific, resolutions are:
Get up and walk dogs with Joe 3x weekly before work.
No reading or writing blogs during working hours.
Be nicer/friendlier to strangers - even strangers who are trying to sell me something that will probably break or cause me to break out within the first month of use.

I'm still going strong with at least one of those resolutions.  I was nice to the Mary Kay lady who tried to get me to start my own Mary Kay business, AND I was nice to the bitchy girl at the Kohl's customer service desk who was just not very service-y.

how I design intersections

"Part of the reason accidents here are so wicked brutal are the awesome sightlines—awesome for observers, that is, but crap for motorists," said Metz, who added that low-hanging branches that block drivers' vision also contribute to some massive flameouts. "Best part is that two of the streets leading into the intersection have low rises that drop off sharply just before the stop-lines, so if you're driving over 50, you can catch some nasty air there."

trying not to blow it on the 2nd day

It's eleven, but I'm posting now before midnight so I'm still in the game.  tomorrow I am hosting several women at my house for a cocktail party, so I spent my free time this evening NOT watching Grey's Anatomy and taste testing my pomegranate cosmo recipe.  Ok, so that was part of the evening, but the rest of the time I was cleaning my dirty house and encouraging Joe as he hung the rest of the woodwork around the new windows.  Turns out, he didn't need the extra encouragement I offered and made that clear with a fang-revealing lip snarl.  Jenn came over to help chop food and taste test the cosmos...thanks man. 

Now I will retire for the evening.  Did I mention I am re-getting sick?  I had a snuffly nose Tuesday this week, and am now feeling a scratchy throat and overall bad mood.  I'm hoping to stave off the remaining flu symptoms until after my party tomorrow evening, so hopefully the Nyquil shooter I just rocked will kick in shortly and I will get a full night of yummy drug induced sleep.

nerd sauce

because I have no time to post anything else right now:

what else can I do besides work?

I know, this!!  And holy hell, it's a long one.

1. FIRST NAME? Abby

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ? No

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?  probably watching some dumb commercial

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?  My handwriting is very boyish and engineery, but yeah, I like it.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? smoked turkey

6. KIDS? No

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF?  Possibly, once I got to know me.

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? You're looking at it.

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?  Too much, and often during inappropriate situations.

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?  No

11. WOULD YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMP?  I might try it if I didn't have to dive head first.  I would absolutely NOT do it with the bungee strapped around my ankles.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?  Strawberry Fields

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?  I can lift heavy things and take sealed lids off of jars, but am often an emotional wreck and I think that cancels out the muscles.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? It's a tie between strawberry cheesecake and coffee heath bar

16. SHOE SIZE? 10 in regular shoes, 10.5 in running shoes.

17. RED OR PINK?  Pink

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?  the procrastinating

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?  I'm going to give the generic: Family and old friends

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?  in the whole world?  no, gmail only give me 2 gig.  it would be fun to read about my friends.

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW?  Pants:  denim;  Shoes:  cork base with crocheted coral strap and brown beads.

22. LAST THING YOU ATE? A peanut m&m for lunch

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?  The old iPod: Aqua, Candyman is on right now - please don't judge me, I have tons of really bad-ass stuff in the shuffle, but there is a place in my heart for catchy '90s euro-pop.

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?  probably white, because I haven't been out in the sun too much this summer

25. FAVORITE SMELL? mmm...burritos... i'm starving!

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?  Margaret from the boarding kennel we're taking our dogs to in a few weeks when we go on vacation.

27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO?  Their face, I'm sorry, but it's usually the first thing I see.

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes!

29. FAVORITE DRINK?  whatever is on special at the wine bar

30. FAVORITE SPORT?  I'm going to go with softball right now, a shout out to my peeps in the Monday night nerd league.

31. HAIR COLOR? blond with dark blond roots because it's been too long since my last salon visit

32. EYE COLOR? Blue

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No

34. FAVORITE FOOD?  anything - see #25

35. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Matador

36. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?  brown

37. SUMMER OR WINTER?  winter.  I really hate hot.  but I love ice cream...i'm torn.

38. HUGS OR KISSES?  Hugs

39. FAVORITE DESSERT? strawberry shortcake

40. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?  Jenn

I promised Jenn I'd post a picture of her on my blog - you're famous girl!

41. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?  this lady:

this was one of those pictures that you take over your friend's shoulder while you're pretending to take a picture of your friend.  I think it turned out well.

42. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?  East of Eden

43. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?  some bullshit contractor

44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV?   Rockstar!!!!

45. FAVORITE SOUNDS?  jingling puppy collars

46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles

47. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? This is a little embarrassing, but it was probably no further than the west coast.

49. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? July 12, 1979 in Wisconsin

50. IF YOU WON A ROUND TRIP TICKET TO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE
WOULD YOU GO?   Greek islands